Do you know someone who just had a baby? Are you jumping at the opportunity to just squeeze those little baby cheeks!? You’ve finally been invited over to visit, and you don’t want to make a complete fool of yourself, so you googled how to not be an idiot around a new baby, or something like that, and this post showed up.
Or maybe one of your super awesome and ever so wise friends shared this post on ‘insert your favorite social media outlet here’ and you clicked out of curiosity. Partly because you want to see how much of it you agree with, or partly because you haven’t been around a baby in a long time, if ever, and you really want to know what the deal is.Well, thanks for stopping by! I’d love to share with you some tips I picked up along the way when visiting new moms and babies.
Before we get started, let’s just check that gushy excited attitude at the door. I know you’re so excited that your eyes are about to pop out of your head. Somehow that’s part of our DNA, to be over the moon about babies. That’s how the human race repopulates.
But let’s get one thing straight: the reality of parenting a newborn is less than sunshine and lollipops. Parents and baby are going through an extremely stressful period, and you need to be sensitive to that. Newborn parents need to know that they have supporters, not just visitors. Here are some great ways you can support new parents while you visit:
Ask If She Needs Anything
Before you come over ask if mom needs anything. You can say you’re making a quick stop at the grocery store and ask if she needs anything. You can suggest a few things that might spark her interest.
You should always, ALWAYS come into a new mom’s home with a calm, relaxing, stress-free presence. Come in quietly, assess the environment, and mimic mom & dad’s behavior. If they’re quiet, you’re quiet. If they’re acting like business as usual, you can feel free to lighten up a little. Just be aware of the environment.
Make Yourself Useful
When you visit, bring something and get to work! Mom is not there to host you. Mom’s only job is to take care of baby. That means you need to take care of her. Bring her food. Good food. Clean her dishes, tidy up, let her shower while you watch baby, make her a meal, bring her something to drink. Make sure when you leave that she has less to do, not more!
Don’t Overstay Your Welcome
Even if mom and dad seem happy to have you, only stay for a short while. They’ve got a lot to do. My suggestion would be an hour tops, unless they are comfortable enough with you to go about their routine, and you’re comfortable with not being hosted. Make yourself useful while you’re there. Always.
Leave Your Opinions At The Door (unless she asks)
Here’s the situation. You come over for a visit and mom is talking with you about how she’s tired all the time and can’t seem to catch up on sleep. And the next thing out of your mouth is ‘you should sleep when baby sleeps.’ Don’t say that. She knows that. In fact, baby is sleeping right now and you’re in her living room taking up her time giving her advice she doesn’t need. Are you helping? No.
Hold Space for Her.
Leave your opinions at the door and just be ready to just be.
Bring GOOD Food!
Speaking of leaving crap. Leave the crappy food at home too! New moms need sustenance. They need foods they can eat super fast in between feeding and pumping and burping and wiping and napping and everything else. They can go far too long without using the bathroom because there’s just no time. They need easy, grab and go, high protein foods. Ready made. Easy to assemble.
Here is a list if things you should bring instead of cookies: