Happy New Year! I hope this year brings you so, so much health and happiness. You know how making resolution can seem a little scatter brained? At least when I make resolutions I seem to be scatter brained, and then I lose sight of my main focus, which is usually some form of self improvement. Whether thats a new gym routine, clearing out the clutter, or an honest effort to just be nicer to people, it always goes back to self improvement.
To battle the scatter brained tendencies, I usually will sit down and write out all of my plans for the year, and then give them some thought and come up with one word that encompasses a theme throughout the ideas. I don’t always share that on this blog, but I wanted to this year because it might affect the direction of my writing and ideas here as well.
Many of you may not know, because I don’t tend to share about it here, but I have been struggling with my health lately. It started a couple years ago with my pregnancy losses, at least I’m thinking it’s all connected somehow. And it grew to pain, first in my feet, then in my wrists, and now it’s taken over my body and my life. I was finally diagnosed with Celiac Disease after complaining of my pain and digestion issues, and have been trying to manage going ruthlessly gluten free (which is a lot harder than it seems). But nonetheless, even after almost one year of hard effort, my symptoms have not subsided.
Right now I feel disconnected from my body. Sometimes I feel like I’m floating above it and looking down, seeing what is happening and not being able to do anything about it. Or wanting desperately to feel good and do fun projects, but my body and mind are just not up for the task. Like the world is spinning and I’m no longer a part of it.
I’ve been seeing different specialists and trying my best to find a solution, but I also have to accept that this is just a part of me now. Whatever this is.
At the moment I am really trying to focus on myself, and getting my health back, and it’s taking so much more out of me than I can even begin to explain. So, I honestly don’t know what I’m going to be writing about this year. But I think the new changes in my life will creep in, because I want to share my life with you all.
At the moment I am on an elimination diet called the Autoimmune Protocol. It’s like Paleo’s strict aunt. It eliminates all the foods that are known to cause inflammation, and focuses on nutrient dense foods from the most natural sources so that I can try to get my body to heal. Through this journey of trying new recipes, learning about meats and the different living conditions of animals, or the different ways that produce is manipulated before we eat it has been a very eye opening experience. I feel more connected now to what I eat, and have a larger social awareness. In doing so, I’m also on a path to heal my own body.
I think it’s just amazing and hard to explain the disconnect that we have with what we put in our bodies that feed us daily. We don’t think about how those things affect our quality of life, and literally change us. I’m still on this journey, but I’ve learned so much already.
And so that brings me to my word of the year: connection.
I want to feel connected to my food and my body, yes. But I also want to expand that and find connections in other places as well. I want to understand the connection between the clutter in my house and the clutter in my head. I want to know more deeply how exercise affects my mood. I want to find out why the seemingly random days of depression and anxiety happen. And I know it may sound ridiculous, but I want to discover how to make my house connect with me one room at a time. I also want to feel more connected to my readers, because you all are the reason I get to do what I love doing!
So as much excitement as I have for this year, I am also proceeding with caution. Because my number one priority is my health. But I’d love to take you along with me.
Here’s to a great new year!